Welcome
How your brain is wired can either help you have happy, satisfying relationships, or it can be a big, lumpy obstacle to healthy love.
Okay, you might say, so what now? Do-it-yourself brain surgery?
Actually, yes, in a way, and without all the mess.
We now know that you can improve the shape and function of your brain, and create a brain that supports your relationships and happiness.
Neuroscientific studies from places like Harvard and UCLA have shown that mindfulness meditation can re-shape and re-wire your brain.
And: You can re-wire your brain in twenty minutes a day.
As a psychologist, I’ve met with many people who are frustrated about finding and sustaining healthy relationships. They often keep getting stuck in the same loops, same arguments, same hurts and disappointments. It can be confusing and frustrating trying to figure out what it takes to be in a relationship, and to do it in a more meaningful way.
Fortunately, I have also seen people break out of those old patterns much more easily when they developed a daily practice of mindfulness meditation. It takes practice, and while it is simple, it isn’t easy. You can think of it as one of the best do-it-yourself projects you might ever do — re-wiring your own brain, for better relationships.
You don’t have to become a monk, or become a vegetarian, or spend hours contemplating your navel. This isn’t the kind of meditation where you hum “om” over and over trying to get your brain to be still, or empty.
What you do during mindfulness meditation is practice simply noticing your thoughts and feelings, and not getting all tangled up in them. You don’t even have to sit while you do it, and you definitely don’t have to sit in the pretzel position known as “lotus” – you can do walking meditation, eating meditation, lying-down meditation, washing-dishes meditation – believe it or not, there’s even a raisin meditation. With practice, you can meditate anywhere, during just about any activity.
Marsha Lucas, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist, and has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior relationship for nearly twenty years. Prior to entering private practice, she was a neuropsychologist on the faculty at the Emory University School of Medicine.
Dr. Lucas currently practices in Washington, DC. She is the author of an upcoming book about mindfulness, the brain, and relationships. Her writings also appear on her blog at PsychologyToday.com. To learn more about her work, visit her website at www.MarshaLucasPhD.com.
