Early Attachment May Affect Our Ability to Resolve Conflict in Relationships.
The University of Minnesota has found some interesting information regarding conflicts in relationships and how these conflicts can be tied to your emotional care as a child.
Article From: UMNews
MINNEAPOLIS / ST. PAUL (02/10/2011) —People searching for fulfilling and stable romantic relationships should look for a romantic partner who recovers from conflict well. Yes, it turns out that if your romantic partner recoups well after the two of you have a spat, you reap the benefits, according to results of a new study by the University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development’s Institute of Child Development.
The research looks at how people recover or come down after a conflict with their romantic partner, said Jessica Salvatore, the lead researcher in the study “Recovering From Conflict in Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective.” The article is set to appear in the journal Psychological Science, and has been released online. Co-authors of the study are university researchers Sally Kuo, Ryan Steele, Jeffry Simpson and W. Andrew Collins.
Salvatore and her colleagues’ research digs into a new area. In the past, marriage researchers have focused on how people resolve conflicts, but they never looked at what happens after the conflict ends and how people recover, Salvatore said.
“What we show is that recovering from conflict well predicts higher satisfaction and more favorable relationship perceptions. You perceive the relationship more positively,” Salvatore said.
The interesting finding is that you don’t have to be the one who recovers well to benefit.
“If I’m good at recovering from conflict, my husband will benefit and be more satisfied with our relationship,” Salvatore said.
The study’s participants were 73 young adults who have been studied since birth and their romantic partners.
“Several decades of marriage research show that what happens during a conflict matters. What we show is that what happens in the time following a conflict also matters,” she said.
A partner who recovers well doesn’t let remnants of the conflict spill over or leak into other parts of the relationship, Salvatore said. He or she is able to separate conflict from other types of interactions, such as deciding how to parent their children or providing support to one another.
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